The excuser

Welcome to America's hottest new reality show--"The Excuser!" Everybody knows that there's an art to a good excuse, and nobody knows that better than the billionaire--or maybe that's millionaire?--Harold (or Maude) Clump. Clump, who has never met a day with good hair and so has hair assistants on constant standby, holds "The Excuser!" competition in a storage room--no, boardroom--of the Clump high-rise (and, sure, you can call three stories a high-rise).