The emotional catering service

The Emotional Catering Service is a metaphor for what is commonly known as codependency. This book takes a totally new approach to codependency. It uncovers the roots of the problem, which are unresolved emotional attachments to self-denial, rejection, unworthiness, and feeling controlled. Deep knowledge from within our psyche is uncovered, and this new self-awareness provides readers with the best antidote for change and growth.This book examines the six major features of emotional catering. These features represent everyday attitudes and behavioral problems that plague many "normal" people to some degree, sabotaging prospects for health and happiness. The six features are: self-denial, fear and avoidance of intimacy, obsessive investment in the welfare of others, compulsive seeking of approval, taking responsibility for others and doing it all, and passive stance toward life. Each of these features is examined in depth throughout the book.If you have been running an Emotional Catering Service and want to close up shop, the secret is to learn to see yourself, others, and the world through different eyes. External improvements in your life will follow after you make this internal shift.This shift occurs when we learn emotionally, not just intellectually, that our feelings and reactions are caused not so much by others but mostly by our own unconscious internal reactions to what we see, hear, and imagine.What causes us to feel depressed, tense, or unhappy? What floods our mind with self-doubt? We like to think it is the events in our lives or the behaviors of others. But a major portion of our emotional distress is a result of how we perceive, interpret, or react to circumstances, rather than what actually is done to us. It's our individual interpretation or perception of an event or situation, or even just how we anticipate some event or situation (and not necessarily the actual event itself), that's at the root of our negative feelings. When we understand this, we gain much more mastery of our reactions and emotions.