The jam doughnut that ruined my life

Roman Garstang is obsessed with food - particularly Squidgy Splodge raspberry-jam doughnuts. Because of his Monday-morning jam doughnut, Roman's week takes a very sticky turn and by Friday, Roman has been banned from eating for 24hrs, narrowly avoided a faceful of warm toddler-wee, accidentally shoplifted, been given a lift in a getaway van, styled his teacher's guinea pig with a blue mohawk, started an OAP riot ... and still barely managed to scoff a crumb - or lick - of a single doughnut.